Strictly 2013 - Song Parodies

A warm welcome to friends old and new.

Looking forward to hearing from some fellow bonkers scribblers over the next few weeks. Please join in with other Strictly fans and have some fun. No one takes themselves too seriously. Time to dust off the pencils methinks.

Hi B4p!

Yes dust the covers off & lets have new songs & poems for new season!! Not sure If Im bonkly mad yet!!

Oh SCD all shiny & new
a set of 15 how well will they do!
A dazzle a smile or a right dud?
can they dance? You thought they should

Some are noisy and some are quiet
an easy silence or shall we cause a riot!
No awful props or appalling frocks
What joys,spoils are in store or dreadful shocks

Oh Darcey can be so lovely and nice
There's L..en with his pickled walnuts vice
B.runo all crazy & full of zest
Then C.raig with oh pur lease give it a rest

B.rucie bless will fluff his line or two
Tess will smile & her dress will reveal more!
Strike up the band man with a hat
Spin the ball & say thats that!!

Sax

Good start sax. Glad you liked the tweets. I'll try and do a round up every few days. There's bound to be some news on the first days of training 'either my celeb is brill' or 'we're taking it slowly' or the challenges of new shoes etc.

Now I have a little idea so I'm off to practise some scribbling. See you later.

Im a little confused!! I do not have any recollection of this poem? Too good for me!
Keep the tweets & scribbling going b4p

Sax

Just a bit of silliness to start with.....

J Macdonald had an arm
E -I -E -I - O
And on that arm he had some spray-tan
E -I -E -I - O
With a crystal here, and a crystal there
Here a ruffle, there a ruffle
Everywhere a GODET!
Will Macdonalds' cha-cha charm?
E -I -E -I - O

I love it Jingle!!! Encore more more xxx

This is for Mark & Iveta's tango last Saturday. I loved it.

Tune - Hernando’s Hideaway (Doris Day version)

https://youtu.be/eCQ4isuVCqs

He pushed, the mask, up on his face,
then smiling, swiped, her best necklace.
Attempted, to, vacate the place.
Was caught. Iveta’s in the way - Ole.

Then came up, with, a cunning plan,
by grabbing, both, Iveta’s hands.
He’d learned, some tango, on remand.
In fact, from Nando’s Takeaway - Ole.

Instrumental
Though he didn’t linger, she could match him toe for toe.

Instrumental
First he tried to fling her, then he dragged her to and fro.

Instrumental
She was keeping close. He’d got to lose her that was key.

“Sod this dancing lark.
I taught Brendan Cole.
It’s not Strict-ley.......”

Rock step, sublime, head sta-ca-tto.
“Not doing time. I need to go”.  
Then checked, his pockets, full of woe.
He’d been - fandangoed in the frey - Ole.

A general ditty  

Tune - Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens (Sound of Music)
https://youtu.be/48MlMQTuGXQ

Sweat drops on noses. Some having kittens.
Striking wierd poses, pretending they're smitten.
Lycra filled packages, covered in bling.
Bru cie pronouncing his favourite things.

Hair straightened pony’s. Some look like poodles.
Feet swell. The judge hell, “more hips-ville, you noodle!”
Learning to fly, some helped by their ‘batwings’.
Wardrobe disguising unsavoury things.

Lemon tart Tess is with Fringe-over-lashes.
Tan bake that stains all their clothes. The backlashes.
Knee slides then splinters. Head tilt. No foot spring.
Try not to spew on the circle-ing things.

When brain fog bites,
and the “Jeez!” stings,
when you’re reeling bad,
you’ve got to remember “You’re our favourite thing”
and yes you’re quite right.
We’re mad.

Deborah's dance to Money, Money Money, reminded me of an old Strictly ditty about a kitchen girl in the BBC kitchens who was plotting to dance with one of the male Pro's.
A re-run with a couple of the female dancer's names updated.

Tune - Money, Money, Money (Abba)
https://youtu.be/ETxmCCsMoD0

I plot all night and dream all day, of schemes to have my wicked way.
I’m not all bad.
The men don’t seem to notice me, although I always make their tea.
It’s so sad.

They don’t know, I have a plan,
to up my chances with a dancing man.
If I could try to lose those girls, or make them heavier to twirl?

Honey, honey, honey - set not runny,
so sweet their sandwich curls.
Lock Nat and her flat tummy - in the dunny,
need to hide that girl.
Aha......aha
One thing that I’d like to do,
is to kidnap someone hunky,
from the dancing world.

(Scratching white hat on her head, she gets back into slicing bread).
Ain’t it sad?
If I could add some calories, they’d be a chance they’d fancy me.
Just a tad.

I’ll leave the fat, on Janette’s ham.
Swop Karen’s tuna for that Biker’s spam.
Use triple cream in O la’s soup, you’d be surprised how low I’d stoop.

Stretch marks on your tummy - are real crummy,
in the Strictly world.
Surgical support tights - are a big fright,
for a dancing girl.
Aha....aha
Still got lots I could do.
Anya’s deep fried canelloni. Iveta’s walnut whirls.

Sonny, I’m no dummy - lard tastes scrummy,
used to fry their chips.
Ali and Kristina - won’t be leaner,
with my full fat dips.
Aha......aha
They’ll gain a stone or two.
Got some doughnuts planned for wardrobe, filled with superglue.

As Miss Oli ali or whatever her name is this year has just graced the Friday night ITT panel, I felt a re-run of Nancy Who? was perfectly justifiable.


Tune – We didn’t start the fire (Billy Joel)
https://youtu.be/eFTLKWw542g

In the day, Caesar ruled, Gladiators went to school.
Maximus Decimus and 'I’m Sparticus'.
Nero fiddled, Rome’s hot dog. Frankie Howard’s epilogue.
Holy See. Gondolier. Borgia nauseous.

Painting more than kit-chens, Raph-a-el and Titian.
Be-fore telly, Machiavelli, Don-a-tello.
Caravaggio, Da-ddi. Mr The Love God that is Leonard The Lion Goodman da Vinci.
Fiorentino, Loren-zetti, Michael An-gel-o.

He had to climb much higher,
just to reach the ceiling,
try to stop it peeling.
His neck was on fire.
With his hand a-shaking,
and his fingers aching.

Alighieri’s po-etry. Columbus sailing over seas.
Mussolini, Carla Bruni, Cosa Nostra.
Queen of Tzar, got advice, Casanova (head of vice).
Berl-us-coni. Phone Marconi, care of Mr Vo-lta.

Bellissino, Aldo Zilli, Giorgio Gino, Locatelli.
Make spaghetti, like their mam. Panettone, Parma ham.
King of jungle, never left. They all kept Italian chef.
Carlu-cc-io, D’Ac-ampo, never drove a chippy van.

They wouldn’t start a fire.
All the dosh they’re earning,
cos they’re food’s not burning.
They cost loads to hire.
You can only bite it,
if you get invited.

Al Pacino, Bob de Niro, Garcia and Al Capone.
Alan Alda, John Travolta, Madge and Dan De Vito.
Frank Coppola film congrats. See Jay Leno for a chat.
Snoz Durante, Dean Martin. ’Hey Abbott’ said Costello.

Fiti-paldi, Dino Zoff - was a goalie super boff.
A footballer, named Baggio, hit the net with magic toe.
Farrari with his sporty cars. Rossi’s motor bikes go far.
Jarno Trulli, Mae-stro, Rocky Mar-ci-ano.

List keeps getting higher,
of the great Italians,
whether vamp or stallion.
A WAG might be a tryer,
but if they are boring,
still affects their scoring.

Valentino, Ver-sace, blew the fashion world away.
Dolce and Gabbana’s style, worried C & A awhile.
Top designers full of wile, lead the others by a mile.
Armani tailoring is sharp. The devil’s wearing Prada.

Pav-a-rotti, Frankie Laine. Rene and Renata (pain).
Francis Rossi, Status Quo. Zavaroni won the show.

Bon Jovi down the wire.
He liked Frank Sinatra,
before Lady Gaga.
Bocelli’s C goes higher.
60’s Sonny Bono,
followed Perry Como.

Dancers looking thin and wan, have some pasta. Parmesan,
gorgonzola, mozarella, all formaggio.
Min-i-strone, pesto, pizza (no pineapple though).
Pane cotta, pan-e-tone, amar-ett-o.

Silver tongued Italian Stallion’s from Italian shore, (I suspect through Narnia’s door),
fueled by caffeine, Benedictine, maki-yato.
Garibaldi’s. Never coy. Known as the Martini boy.
Cinzano drunk. When he sways; sobered on expresso haze.

Loren, I admire,
and Ms Rossellini.
(She don’t drink Lambrini).
Lollo-brig-ida’s fire.
Strictly’s Vince and Flavia,
Are Italian caviar.

Start-ing gun’s been fired.
So instead of gurning,
just get on with learning.

Who’ll be first through the wire?
Well it’s never certain,
til the final curtain…………

  Bravo B4P!!

I've got a vague notion for a song, must try to write it down

Hi jingle
I've just landed in Edinborough. I'll try and post when I get a chance but may be limited til the weekend.
I've also got a rough idea and might try to sketch some thoughts later.  Watching Rick Stein's cooking programme and now need to find some food.
Keeeeeep scribbling