SCD 2018 Sing-a-song-o-Strictly, or make up silly rhymes

Give it a go. It's cathartic, just for fun, and exercises the little grey cells.

I only thawed out to Gio last season, so there's still hope for Graziano.

Dedicated Follower of Fashion (The Kinks)
https://youtu.be/QA5gJ0hZpCc

Well lookee here,
it’s this years spare.
I wish he’d wash,
his greasy hair.
Always knows the camera angles, gurning right up tight.
He's one unmedicated follower of passion.

He never has,
a shirt that fits,
In the spray booth,
he’s triple dipped.
Not as strong in ballroom, those high waisters cramp his style.
He’s a bona-fide champion of Latin.

Just full of fizz,
(not Brahms & Liszt).
With ears that wiggle as he checks the mirror.
Sucks vir-tual spaghetti, to denote surprise or fright,
holding hot dogs that his dance mates all keep grabbing.

The spotlight’s his.
Oh yes it is.
He’s obviously used to lots of flattery.
He looks like Erol’s grandchild from a stand of just one night,
as he dances round the floor, his teeth a-flashing.

Did I just hear,
that Shirley dared,
to wash that man,
right out her hair?
Wait til Br uno finds out that his country man has gone,
then again, the perfect reason to sedate him.

That’s just show biz.
The way it is.
The viewers liked your use of props - but goodbye.
In matters of the vote, the public’s fickle as can be,
now where’s Johannes, and that Ginger who’ve been rationed.

B4p wrote:I only thawed out to Gio last season, so there's still hope for Graziano.

Dedicated Follower of Fashion (The Kinks)
https://youtu.be/QA5gJ0hZpCc

Well lookee here,
it’s this years spare.
I wish he’d wash,
his greasy hair.
Always knows the camera angles, gurning right up tight.
He's one unmedicated follower of passion.

He never has,
a shirt that fits,
In the spray booth,
he’s triple dipped.
Not as strong in ballroom, those high waisters cramp his style.
He’s a bona-fide champion of Latin.

Just full of fizz,
(not Brahms & Liszt).
With ears that wiggle as he checks the mirror.
Sucks vir-tual spaghetti, to denote surprise or fright,
holding hot dogs that his dance mates all keep grabbing.

The spotlight’s his.
Oh yes it is.
He’s obviously used to lots of flattery.
He looks like Erol’s grandchild from a stand of just one night,
as he dances round the floor, his teeth a-flashing.

Did I just hear,
that Shirley dared,
to wash that man,
right out her hair?
Wait til Br uno finds out that his country man has gone,
then again, the perfect reason to sedate him.

That’s just show biz.
The way it is.
The viewers liked your use of props - but goodbye.
In matters of the vote, the public’s fickle as can be,
now where’s Johannes, and that Ginger who’ve been rationed.

I love it. Nice one.

Thanks CC. I'm sure I'll like him better as time goes on and he stops trying so hard

Bravo B4P! You've still got it!

jingle wrote:  Bravo B4P!  You've still got it!

You took the words Jingle ...bravo indeed B4!

C'mon you two and join in. It's cheaper than therapy!

OMG - that's pure genius B4p! I bow down in admiration :-D

And no, I could never follow that!

Too kind diamonds. Tis only a little ditty

just a couple of verses cos the song goes on a bit, (just like the tabloids)

Labelled With Love (Squeeze)
https://youtu.be/j3R7Op1oufA

The Red Tops have noticed a clandestine fumble,
Down a dark alley, near bins where they stumbled.
They must hunt for witches, support alleged victims,
but what is that rat smell, that suddenly thickens?
They’re shamed on the TV, the papers have pictures.
They crossed a blue line, now a media fixture.
The sentence delivered, the Matrix a blinder.
The damage is done, no need to be kinder.

Nearly dismembered, start tolling the bell.
Ready the block (they’ve got papers to sell).
Me-dia wars as they all don their gloves,
and squeeze til they’re throttled, by all the tough love.

He struggled with walking, but managed to lumber.
Forgot all his steps in the middle of num-bers.
Just like a puppy, with coat that needs brushing,
he galloped about, in a panic just rushing.
Ended his time as a creepy doll maker.
Managed a Fleckerl, and tried not to break her.
Doomed to the Dance Off, he still came off worse,
One had a Time Warp, and one had been cursed.

Not a contender, no ringer with stealth.
Maybe a clot with the hand he was dealt.
Look on the bright side, it could have got rough,
he might have been bottled, to death by MacDuff.

Loosely based on:

I am the very model of a modern major general
https://youtu.be/hlTisI_HSgw

Has Strictly Land be modelled on a Model Major Incident,
in offices above a bar for lubricating ligaments?
There’s Vicki Gill attempting to contain all objects spherical.
The hair, and make-up girls get 5p more for looks hysterical.

The spray tan is mahogany, unless you’re Smurf, and then it’s blue.
There’s 3D CGI to make the shower prop begin to spew.
The scoreboard looks quite easy, as it’s often quite predictable.
Whoever’s at the top can stay, the bottom lot’s despicable.

Young An ton is the mascot, but he’s turned into a paradox,
he’s been on there the longest, but he never gets to dance a lot.
We get new dancers every year, from spares at ‘Burn The Floor Are Us’.
One or two have made my skin inclined to be ec-zem-a-tous.

The music often ranges from some God awful cacophony.
Try dancing to a song that’s written sometime post lobotomy.
The singers know the exit tunes when losers have to leave the floor.
The band is good, but haven’t yet attempted Madge’s Pinafore.

On ITT the dancing spree is analysed so we’re informed,
just who was blooming awful, and whose footwork verged upon deformed.
Friday night’s been hijacked by a panel of insufferables,
‘please buy my latest XYZ it really is quite 'orrible’.

Ian demonstrates the steps, with Zoe as his manikin.
She worries that her muffin top’s on show, and starts a-panicking.
She likes her sparkly heels and tops, but only wears her trousers black.
She hands out lots of tissues, ‘here’s your highlights, you’re not coming back’.

We have some new dance choices like the streets, or angst contemporary.
Ena Sharples, on the cobbles, doing hip-hop is incendiary.
There’s the-atre or jazz, including burlesque in suspenders - gee.
To watch or not to watch, that is the question if I’m eating tea.

The training VT’s show the latest moves of their anatomy,
despite their humble boasts, they want to raise scores, gain more flattery.
We’re getting to the stage when those still working lose their battery,
so desperate to see Blackpool, before any dancing atrophy.

The judges often liken some to animal, or vegetable,
then Tess and Claud say ‘never mind, we think you are adorable’.
To keep their place, the pros need eyes, in frontal and occipital.
‘All rise’ the viewing figures for the show’s Director General.